Posts Tagged ‘Kurt Cobain’

Dave Grohl’s spidey sense is tingling.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Dave Grohl has ESP.

A self-loathing drug addict violently ends his life with a shotgun blast to the face, who would have thunk it?

In a recent interview with BBC Radio 1, Dave Grohl admitted he had a sneaking suspicion that Kurt Cobain wouldn’t live a long, healthy existence.

“There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a 100 years old,” Grohl said. “In some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality.”

Yet despite all the blinking neon warning signs, Grohl insists he was taken aback upon hearing the news of Cobain’s passing.

“It was a terrible surprise,” he said. “It was probably the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. I remember the day after that I woke up and I was heartbroken that he was gone. I just felt like, ‘Okay, so I get to wake up today and have another day and he doesn’t.’”

Grohl said he embraced the traumatic event as a moment of personal catharsis.

“Usually it takes something like that for people to appreciate life as a gift and you have to take advantage of the time that you have,” he said. “Sometimes you can’t save someone from themselves.”

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Drug addicts make for terrible financial advisors.

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Courtney Love waves goodbye to all of her money/remaining brain cells.Courtney Love sobered up long enough to notice that millions of her late husband’s money was stolen right from under her powdery white nose.

The drug addled singer’s lawyer, Rhonda J. Holmes, claims that Love was nothing more than a victim of skullduggery and malfeasance, and then further put her Thesaurus to use by finding a way to include the word “turpitude” in a sentence.

“I have never seen such greed and moral turpitude,” Holmes told the New York Post. “This case is going to make Bernard Madoff look warm and fuzzy.”

Holmes said Love only discovered that the impropriety had occurred as a result of her being financially insolvent, or in other words, she is broke as a joke.

“There are many, many millions missing,” she said. “We’ve only been able to track down $30 million, but there is more.”

She then implied that any a**hole with half a brain and a mattress could have managed their money better than Love.

“It’s no secret she struggled with substance-abuse issues, but in the last year she’s taken a more serious approach to sobriety and started noticing things were wrong,” Holmes said. “Many of those [involved with] the estate’s coffers mismanaged, stole and outright looted it shamelessly.”

Just in case you’ve been living in a cave for the past 15 years or were raised by wolves, the husband in question is former Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain, who successfully committed suicide in 1994 at the age of 27.

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Kurt Cobain is still a cash cow.

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Taken from Kurt Cobain’s Blue Period.Krist Novoselic, the Pete Best of Nirvana, claims there is an overabundance of unreleased video material in their archive, yet not a single lost studio recording to milk another greatest hits album out of.

“There’s a lot of video,” Novoselic told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (A newspaper that will soon be closing its doors as a result of a declining literacy rate). “There’s not going to be any new Nirvana records.”

Nirvana’s last chart-topping single “You Know Your Right” (which went as high as number 11 in Latvia) came eight years after Kurt Cobain’s successful suicide attempt.

“[The song] was a big surprise with people,” Novoselic said. “I had that master tape stashed and didn’t tell anybody.”

Years of legal squabbling followed, but eventually Novoselic, bandmate Dave Grohl, and Cobain’s heir, Courtney Love, set aside their differences for lots and lots of money and of course the fans, because who could forget about them?

“Yeah, it’s a good thing,” Novoselic said in regards to mending the rift between himself and Love. “It’s not bad terms.”

Novoselic also used the interview as an opportunity to refute rumors that he turned down Grohl during the initial formation of the Foo Fighters.

“I didn’t balk at it at all,” he said. “No, Dave just went and did his own thing, and I did my thing.”

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