Posts Tagged ‘EMI’

You’ve got to be kidding me?

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

The undead walk among us.A website dumb enough to sell the Beatles entire music catalog without their legal consent, insists they had every right to do so as a result of a new recording technique dubbed “psycho-acoustic simulation”.

An injunction against Bluebeat.com was filed by music giant EMI, after they discovered digital copies of every Beatles album had surfaced on the defendant’s website.

However, owner Hank Risan argued that the mp3s sold on his website were not EMI produced recordings, but rather files that had been remastered to sound exactly like the originals.

In other words, the single laziest legal defense ever uttered in a courtroom.

“They’re hosed. That just doesn’t make any sense,” Copyright Attorney Scott Mackenzie told Wired during an interview. “I don’t even see the basis of their theory.”

Sure enough, the judge ignored the almost laughable defense and ordered the immediate halt of all sales.

The Santa Cruz based company will also likely have to pay millions of dollars in damages and copyright infringement fines.

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News Flash: The music industry is run by complete morons.

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Steve Jobs and Apple essentially told the record labels to go f*ck themselves.Not ones to let a history of incompetence and unmitigated failure get in the way of another terrible idea, Sony, EMI, Universal, and Warner Music Group, will attempt to take on iTunes dominance in the music distribution arena with their own harebrained digital format dubbed CDX.

The new venture will essentially offer everything packaged in existing physical media, but in inexpensive and completely soulless digitized form.

“It is the great conundrum of our age: what would an album look like online? At the moment a download in no sense replicates that satisfying quality of a physical album,” a nameless spokesperson for the Entertainment Retailers Association told the New Music Express in an interview.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but a digital album won’t exactly be able to replace the tactile experience of opening a vinyl sleeve or using your car key to break through the annoying factory seal.

According to insiders, the new album format was initially offered to Apple who turned down the four music industry monoliths and instead opted to create their own digital offering codenamed “Cocktail”.

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Bye Bye Miss American Pie

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

EMI are dying a slow death.It seems good taste wasn’t the only casualty of the ongoing downfall of the music industry, as the Times Online reports that recording studios are no longer the gatekeepers of creativity they once were.

British music giant, EMI, recently closed down the legendary Olympic recording studio, which at one timed housed such rock icons as David Bowie, Queen, and the Rolling Stones, who recorded the deliciously sacrilegious “Sympathy for the Devil” within its hallowed halls.

“There are fewer bands or artists who need big rooms,” said Simon Gavin, the head of A&M Records.

However, most experts single out technology and its ability to turn every a**hole into the next Mark Ronson, as the chief contributor to the demise of recording studios.

“Now, records can be made in a bedroom,” said music producer Robin Millar. “With an Apple Mac, two good microphones and a few other bits and pieces, you can be more powerful than Abbey Road was 20 years ago.”

What will become of the now vacant Olympic recording studios?

Why, it’ll likely be sold off to property developers and remodeled into yet another Starbucks of course.

Don’t you just love progress?

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