Posts Tagged ‘Coldplay’

Worst episode ever!

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

Matt Groening and the Simpsons celebrates 10 years of excellence.Having already jumped the shark some ten years ago, The Simpsons’ upcoming 21st season will feature a cavalcade of guest appearances, including a recently announced cameo by Coldplay.

However, the much maligned British pseudo rockers won’t be the only new faces to grace the mythical hamlet of Springfield, as increasingly desperate show runners have set in motion another harebrained scheme to renew interest in the often predictable exploits of Homer Simpson and company.

“For 20 years, the artists and writers of The Simpsons have lovingly labored to create a parade of hilariously memorable characters beloved by the whole world,” a faceless Public Relations representative wrote on the show’s official website. “Well, that’s all over now. The simple fact is we’re tired. Tired and, frankly, too rich to care anymore.”

The newly jaded creative staff will enlist the help of regular folk and engage in the same practice they openly mocked in the past (Can you say Poochie?), with the creation of a fan generated character that will appear alongside Coldplay in a January 31, 2010 episode.

In other news, Simpsons’ creator Matt Groening will take the reins of next year’s All Tomorrow’s Parties music festival in Somerset, England.

Groening previously headed up ATP in 2003, where he flexed his Indie muscle with the likes of Deerhoof, the Shins, Cat Power, and Spoon.

Are you having a laugh?

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Every self-respecting Simpsons fan knows that everything went downhill after season 10.As if the Simpsons wasn’t bad enough already, its creators have once again raised the bar on terrible by including a brief cameo from the incredibly bland Coldplay in their 21st excruciating season.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Chris Martin and company will appear in an episode which centers on Homer winning the lottery.

The British mainstays apparently perform a private show for the new animated millionaire.

“When Bart goes to the bathroom, Coldplay has to stop,” noted executive producer Al Jean.

Surprisingly enough, their extremely hateable frontman has quite the comedy chops and even played up his infamy on the hilarious British comedy Extras, where he shamelessly promotes the release of his fictional The Greatest Hits album.

Coldplay of course aren’t the only ones to have walked amongst the inhabitants of Springfield, whose quaint Kentucky suburb has been privy to a who’s who of rock royalty that includes the likes of the Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Bachman Turner Overdrive, and perhaps most memorable of all, U2.

Islam forgives Coldplay for all their trespasses.

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

I forgive you my son.

The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens has gone on the offensive, by preemptively launching a precision attack against Coldplay and killing them with…kindness?

Yusuf Islam recently accused Chris Martin and company of plagiarizing his song “Foreigner Suite” in their massively popular, Grammy-winning single “Viva La Vida”, but the Muslim convert insists that he holds no ill will towards the blue-eyed and fair skinned entertainers.

“I stand by what I said,” Islam told the United Kingdom’s Daily Express. “They did copy my song but I don’t think they did it on purpose.”

Islam went on to say that he himself had been culpable in the past and to suddenly point the finger of blame at his enemy would only prove to be hypocritical.

“I have even copied myself without even knowing I have done it,” he said. “I’ll write down what I think is a good melody and realize it’s the same as something I have already done.”

The levelheaded folk singer even extended an olive branch to Coldplay in the hopes of bringing an end to their generational conflict.

“I don’t want them to think I am angry with them,” Islam said. “I’d love to sit down and have a cup of tea with them and let them know it’s okay.”

Guitarist Joe Satriani on the other hand has been less forgiving in his ongoing lawsuit against Coldplay, and has even gone as far as to enlist the help of YouTube commentators to demonstrate the close resemblance of their song with his own “If I Could Fly”.

Why anyone would want to take responsibility for that human rights violation of a song continues to astound me.

Make it stop! Please, make it stop!

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

Mmmm, look at the talent on that one.

There have been many words used over the years to describe the Grammys, but entertaining has never been one of them.

CBS continued this proud tradition on Sunday with an award show so excruciating to watch that it made one long for the days of the Spanish Inquisition.

Awkward stage banter, clumsy self-promotion, and substandard music performances ruled the night, as an endless parade of hackneyed talent, one after the other, marched onto the stage.

Whether it was Katy Perry’s unsynchronized choreography, yet another cliché rock/rap collaboration (this time courtesy of Chris Martin and Kanye West), or the Annual Stevie Wonder “Superstition” Duet with the latest pop flavor of the month, it was not a good time to be a fan of music.

Of course the biggest travesty of the night came when Radiohead were snubbed for the second time, in favor of an album that was decent, but not even close to being in the same league as In Rainbows.

The only thing that could have been worse was if Coldplay somehow took home Best Rock Album and Song of the Year honors. Oh wait, that did happen.

What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you have no shame?

The night’s only saving grace came from my prediction of Alison Krauss and Robert Plant’s dominance, thus insuring my survival as a $1.99 per minute telephone psychic.

Other notable winners included Kings of Leon, the Mars Volta, and Best New Artist, Adele, who received Grammy’s time-honored kiss of death.