Glastonbury has finally unveiled the lineup to their upcoming music festival that runs from June 24-28.
The list is a relative who’s who of aging geriatrics and future one hit wonders, and includes the likes of Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Blur, Franz Ferdinand, Echo and the Bunnymen, and Lady GaGa, who was recently mistaken for a prostitute by Russian law enforcement.
I’ll be honest with you. This is pretty much just a ploy on my part to shower untold amounts of praise on my favorite movie of the year.
It’s also an excuse to avoid scouring the internets for another nameless band to review, but let’s just keep that between you and me.
In either case, The Wrestler is easily Darren Aronofsky’s best work to date, which is saying a lot, especially since he’s been responsible for two of the most f*cked up movies (Requiem for a Dream and Pi) of the last decade alone.
Even the overly pretentious science fiction melodrama, The Fountain, had its moments.
That being said, an Oscar nominated movie wouldn’t be complete without a Bruce Springsteen penned theme song rolling during the credits.
The Boss bookends Mickey Rourke’s tour de force performance as a battered but not yet broken former wrestler, with unflinching candor, “Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat?/If you’ve ever seen that scarecrow then you’ve seen me.”
There are two Bruce Springsteens: the tortured poet whose songs encapsulate the plight of the working man with the eloquence and poignancy it deserves, and then there is his commercially viable alter-ego, who churns out disposable pop jingles for the drunken masses.
Unfortunately, on latest album Working On A Dream, Spruce Bringsteen rears his ugly head once again, for a shameless collection of radio fodder destined for Top 40 purgatory.
As infectious as it may be, “My Lucky Day” lacks the heart and substance of his previous work, but of course, none of that will stop every music critic from sh*ting themselves with school girl delight.
The album’s only saving grace is the inclusion of the Oscar nominated theme song “The Wrestler”, from the exceptional movie of the same name.
Correction: The last time around, I mistakenly identified the aforementioned album as a Wal-Mart exclusive, when in fact it was a greatest hits compilation that was the abomination in question.
America commemorated the ascendancy of one of the most important transitional figures since President John F. Kennedy the only way they knew how; terrible music.
The 10,000 or so scheduled events that took place prior to President Barack Obama’s historic inauguration, featured a bevy of mainstream acts whose combined social relevance equals that of the bowel movement I had earlier this morning.
Among the weekend performers were Oprah’s Favorite Thing, Josh Groban, Disney Lolita, Miley Cyrus, the promise ring carrying Jonas Brothers, and the pedophile friendly, Demi Lovato.
Mickey must really have a thing for nubile teens. I’m just saying.
Fall Out Boy headlined the Inagural Youth Ball and inspired a frenzied flood of short selling on America’s future.
One of the lone highlights of this week’s festivities came from watching a sea of oblivious people attempt to mouth the lyrics to the delightfully subversive “This Land Is Your Land”.
Peter Seeger (a former member of the Communist Party) and Bruce Springsteen, sang the Woody Guthrie penned song as originally intended.
“There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me/Sign was painted, it said private property/But on the back side it didn’t say nothing/That side was made for you and me,” wrote the embattled folk hero.
Also of interest was the resurgence of sports arena staple and Steam one-hit wonder “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” used to send off 43rd President George W. Bush, and Mr. Potter facsimile, Dick Cheney, in style.
Bruce Springsteen once famously sang about the destitute and downtrodden on the bleak and soul-crushing Nebraska.
Now the everyman messiah finds himself in the awkward position of selling his upcoming album Working on a Dream exclusively at Wal Mart, whose cost cutting mantra and record high profits have come at the expense of its own workers.
One can’t help but see the decision of a man who proudly championed the causes of the same blue collar workers that are consistently denied health care and a living wage by their employers, as anything but the height of hypocrisy.
But, surely the Boss has some sort of explanation to justify this blatant disregard for his fan base and the fundamental spirit of his music, right?
I’m afraid not, Springsteen has remained uncharacteristically quiet, and has yet to comment on the subject.
Let’s just hope he clears things up before his scheduled appearance at the Super Bowl halftime show, brought to you by Doritos, Coca Cola, and any other faceless corporation with enough money to pay the exorbitant advertising costs.
Other recent Wal Mart exclusives include albums from country rock sell-outs, the Eagles, and heavy metal turncoats, AC/DC.