Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’

Browne tortures former war hero while blogger uses hyperbole.

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Jackson Browne the Conqueror.Unsatisfied with merely kicking a dead horse, Jackson Browne successfully sued war hero/maverick John McCain for unlawful use of one of his songs during the disastrous 2008 presidential campaign.

The famed singer/songwriter’s “Running on Empty” was used without his permission in a negative political ad which depicted then Senator Barack Obama and his energy policies as misguided.

Concerned with being associated with a failed presidential bid, Jackson promptly sued the Ohio Republican Party, who was responsible for said mudslinging.

“Thousands of people come to an event or they see it on TV and they see John Mellencamp’s song being used or Ann and Nancy Wilson’s song being used and they assume a kind of solidarity and a kind of endorsement that simply does not exist,” Browne told the Associated Press in an interview.

Along with apologizing profusely for their part in a criminal act, the GOP settled out of court for what was likely a tidy sum, and vowed to never again allow their hormones to get the best of them…Nevermind, I was thinking of one of the other dozen or so sexual scandals currently facing our moral superiors.

Browne’s lawyer, Lawrence Iser, conveniently alleges that the frivolous lawsuit was not done to justify his own overpriced monthly retainer, but for the sake of struggling musicians everywhere.

“The educational significance cannot be understated,” Iser said. “People like Jackson have the right to license the use of their songs for political campaigns, or to choose not to.”

The McCain campaign also raised the ire of tax and spend liberals when the functionally retarded Sarah Palin violated copyright law by using Heart’s “Barracuda” to whip an equally brainless mob into a needless frenzy.

GOP blames Obama for economic crisis and flood of terrible music.

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

This is what happens when you bank your future on the children.Political pundit and fellow music snob, Tony Sclafani, believes the election of President Barack Obama could potentially stifle artistic creativity for the foreseeable future, and in the process create a doomsday scenario in which the United States are not only borrowing billions of dollars in foreign assets, but also importing large quantities of Chinese pop stars.

According to Sclafani, music has historically taken a hit during times of renewed hope, and (with the most disgraceful administration of all time having just ended) foresees a prolonged period of creative stagnation.

To put it simply, with nothing left to b*tch about, musicians id’s are driven by an impulse to produce bland and soulless pop music.

During John F. Kennedy’s presidency, Chubby Checkers was a household name, when Nixon resigned the airwaves were dominated by disco, and Reaganomics ushered in Nebraska and an era of staunch musical opposition.

Continuing with this trend is the current chart-topping performance of Lady GaGa’s infectious “Just Dance”, whose success is an ominous portent of things to come.

Just imagine an army of spandex wearing clones donning Aladdin Sane war paint, the mind shutters to think.

Yes We Can!

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

This One and That One dance at one of many inaugural celebrations.

America commemorated the ascendancy of one of the most important transitional figures since President John F. Kennedy the only way they knew how; terrible music.

The 10,000 or so scheduled events that took place prior to President Barack Obama’s historic inauguration, featured a bevy of mainstream acts whose combined social relevance equals that of the bowel movement I had earlier this morning.

Among the weekend performers were Oprah’s Favorite Thing, Josh Groban, Disney Lolita, Miley Cyrus, the promise ring carrying Jonas Brothers, and the pedophile friendly, Demi Lovato.

Mickey must really have a thing for nubile teens. I’m just saying.

Fall Out Boy headlined the Inagural Youth Ball and inspired a frenzied flood of short selling on America’s future.

One of the lone highlights of this week’s festivities came from watching a sea of oblivious people attempt to mouth the lyrics to the delightfully subversive “This Land Is Your Land”.

Peter Seeger (a former member of the Communist Party) and Bruce Springsteen, sang the Woody Guthrie penned song as originally intended.

“There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me/Sign was painted, it said private property/But on the back side it didn’t say nothing/That side was made for you and me,” wrote the embattled folk hero.

Also of interest was the resurgence of sports arena staple and Steam one-hit wonder “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” used to send off 43rd President George W. Bush, and Mr. Potter facsimile, Dick Cheney, in style.