Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Dave Grohl’s spidey sense is tingling.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Dave Grohl has ESP.

A self-loathing drug addict violently ends his life with a shotgun blast to the face, who would have thunk it?

In a recent interview with BBC Radio 1, Dave Grohl admitted he had a sneaking suspicion that Kurt Cobain wouldn’t live a long, healthy existence.

“There are some people that you meet in life that you just know that they are not going to live to be a 100 years old,” Grohl said. “In some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality.”

Yet despite all the blinking neon warning signs, Grohl insists he was taken aback upon hearing the news of Cobain’s passing.

“It was a terrible surprise,” he said. “It was probably the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. I remember the day after that I woke up and I was heartbroken that he was gone. I just felt like, ‘Okay, so I get to wake up today and have another day and he doesn’t.’”

Grohl said he embraced the traumatic event as a moment of personal catharsis.

“Usually it takes something like that for people to appreciate life as a gift and you have to take advantage of the time that you have,” he said. “Sometimes you can’t save someone from themselves.”

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Twitter sounds death knell for music industry in 140 characters or less.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

John Taylor hates Twitter.As if my intense hatred for Twitter and YouTube wasn’t already justified, Duran Duran bass player John Taylor (not to be confused with the former 49er great) recently wrote an editorial for BBC News, outlining the many pitfalls of social networking.

Despite all the good that comes from people updating friends on their daily eating habits, Taylor argues that over communication ultimately removes all the mystery out of life.

“When artists today are asked to Twitter their every thought, their every action, to record on video their every breath, their every performance, I believe they’re diluting their creative powers, their creative potency and the durability of their work,” he wrote. “And in the long run I believe they’re also diluting the magical power and the magnetic attraction that they can or will ever have over their audience.”

According to Taylor, it’s this very same lack of intrigue that has stifled a music industry that continually embraces mass appeal over creative substance.

“And the speed and growth of new technology, which has been so heralded and so much fuss has been made of, has actually served to disguise how little real growth is taking place at the artistic level.”

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You’ve got to be kidding me?

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

The undead walk among us.A website dumb enough to sell the Beatles entire music catalog without their legal consent, insists they had every right to do so as a result of a new recording technique dubbed “psycho-acoustic simulation”.

An injunction against Bluebeat.com was filed by music giant EMI, after they discovered digital copies of every Beatles album had surfaced on the defendant’s website.

However, owner Hank Risan argued that the mp3s sold on his website were not EMI produced recordings, but rather files that had been remastered to sound exactly like the originals.

In other words, the single laziest legal defense ever uttered in a courtroom.

“They’re hosed. That just doesn’t make any sense,” Copyright Attorney Scott Mackenzie told Wired during an interview. “I don’t even see the basis of their theory.”

Sure enough, the judge ignored the almost laughable defense and ordered the immediate halt of all sales.

The Santa Cruz based company will also likely have to pay millions of dollars in damages and copyright infringement fines.

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Who are you calling a thief?

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Does anyone even remember Napster?

The music industry often pigeon holes the Internets as a bastion for thieving, good-for-nothing lowlifes that continue to suckle off the teat of hardworking six figure executives struggling to put food on their tables.

A recent article from BBC News finally puts an end to this long drawn out debate, as a recent study has concluded that the same people who engage in peer-to-peer file sharing are more likely to spend larger amounts of money on music than the common shmo.

According to the completely unscientific study, 1 out every 10 people interviewed admitted to illegally downloading music.

However, roughly 80 percent of those same people also claimed to regularly purchase CDs, vinyl, and MP3s

Interestingly enough, the spending habits of the average file sharer was calculated at $126, almost twice as much as law-abiding citizens ($72).

Participants in the study also noted that the ideal price for MP3s is $.75 per track.

“Politicians and music companies need to recognize that the nature of music consumption has changed and consumers are demanding lower prices and easier access to music,” said British researcher Peter Bradwell.

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Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Roger Daltrey’s ego is this big.The Beatles recent foray into interactive entertainment proved to be a successful one as they beat out the rival Guitar Hero franchise by a significant margin.

Now everyone and their mother wants their digitized likeness to grace the television screens of prepubescent boys everywhere, with The Who being the latest such entry into the video game pantheon.

During an interview with MassLive, Roger Daltrey inadvertently leaked information that he, Pete Townshend, and the estates of John Entwistle and Keith Moon, had signed off on an upcoming Rock Band video game.

“The game, yeah, yeah, they’re going to be doing a Who one next year,” Daltrey said. “There is one planed. [The idea] is fabulous. Anything that gets non-musical people interested in music is wonderful.”

The Who-centric project was later confirmed by a Harmonix spokesperson, but further information regarding a possible Technicolor showdown with a flamboyantly gay Elton John has yet to be validated outside my own overactive imagination.

“We’re working closely with the Who on what’s next, but don’t have anything new to announce at this time,” a nameless Public Relations representative told Kotaku.

Either way, I’m not exactly looking forward to failing out of “Pinball Wizard” for the thousandth time, give or take.

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There is a god.

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Ashlee Simpson is easy on the eyes but painful on the ears.Say what you will of Pete Wentz, but simply put, the man is a saint.

Not only did he fall on the grenade for the rest of us when he married Ashlee Simpson, but Wentz did what no other person could, and has finally silenced the tragically tone deaf singer (I use the term loosely) for good.

According to some random music blog I’ve never heard of, Simpson has allegedly called it quits and for the time being intends to focus her attention on raising her newborn son Bronx.

Fans of the inexplicably talentless Pop starlet need not fret, because Simpson plans to find other avenues to suck at, which may or may not include a completely misguided acting career.

“She’s reading scripts. Acting is her focus now,” an anonymous source told Contact Music in an interview. “If she had an album, she’d have to tour and be away from Bronx. She wants consistency.”

However, Simpson’s acting career is also off to a bit of a rocky start, as Melrose Place producers recently announced they would be parting ways with the equally inept actress.

“She’s the worst actress, but nobody will tell her,” another faceless coward told US Weekly.

In retaliation, her sister Jessica publically bashed the back from the dead 90’s television melodrama on her Twitter account.

“CW catching up on MP. Who writes this crap? I have had bad scripts to work with, but this? Thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press,” she wrote and I edited for the sake of making it somewhat comprehensible.

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The ironing is delicious.

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Here’s an artist rendering of the average internet user.The recent closure of popular file sharing website, The Pirate Bay, was supposed to solve all the music industry’s problems, but it turns out their harsh and lonely winter has only just begun.

According to a report released by McAfee security experts, the dissolution of the one-time internet piracy giant has resulted in the creation of similar websites that operate with even more anonymity.

“Pirate Bay is just a redirect site to lead people to sources where they can get media and other files,” McAfee spokesperson Greg Day told PCPro. “Once it was temporally shut down, those people still wanted the torrents so they went elsewhere, and that meant lots of other sites popped up to take advantage.”

Day says the presence of file hosting websites has increased by 300 percent since a Swedish court ruled against The Pirate Bay for their alleged role in copyright infringement, and only proves how difficult it is to control information on the interweb.

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Double, double toil and trouble…

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

David Bowie's semen has magic powers.

Apparently, David Bowie wasn’t exactly all there during the late 70’s, and turned to witchcraft as a remedy for his near psychotic breakdown.

Author Marc Spitz alleges in his new book entitled Bowie: A Biography, that the Thin White Duke wholeheartedly believed supernatural forces were out to get him, and boned up on the subject in search of answers to his paranormal dilemma.

“Bowie would sit in the house with a pile of high-quality cocaine atop the glass coffee table, a sketch pad and a stack of books,” Spitz wrote. “…Using this and more arcane books on witchcraft, white magic and its malevolent counterpart, black magic, as rough guides to his own rapidly fragmenting psyche, Bowie began drawing protective pentagrams on every surface.”

According to Spitz, an overly paranoid Bowie sunk deep into depression and suffered from hallucinations.

“Increasingly Bowie was convinced there were witches after his semen,” he wrote. “They were intent on using it to make a child to sacrifice to the devil, essentially the plot to Roman Polanski’s 1968 supernatural classic Rosemary’s Baby.”

Concerned he would be milked for his precious bodily fluid by sex-crazed harlots (I’m fairly certain he never complained in the past), Bowie visited Walli Elmlark, a prominent figure in the Wiccan community.

“Elmark wrote a series of spells and incantations out for Bowie as he continued to wrestle with the forces of darkness,” Spitz wrote.

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Kenny G is still alive.

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Kenny G uses a lot of product.Contrived, out of left field duets are typically reserved for award show ceremonies, but Rivers Cuomo and company have decided to extend the misguided corporate gimmick far beyond its Grammy half-life.

Weezer have formed an unholy alliance with Top 40 staple Sara Bareillies, rapper Chamillionaire, and perhaps most shocking of all, Mr. 80’s perm himself, Kenny G.

According to Spinner, the unlikely triumvirate recorded five songs alongside the Emo forefathers for an upcoming AOL Sessions appearance.

The smooth jazz maestro allegedly improvised a solo for the new Weezer song “I’m Your Daddy”, and insisted on aging himself by 30 years, when he admitted to the reporter that he knew absolutely nothing about the strange man standing next to him.

“I’ve heard the name, but I never knew any of their songs [except] some song about a sweater…with the wool coming apart,” Kenny G said.

During the interview Kenny G also acknowledging liking that one movie about the bus that couldn’t slow down.

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The Libertines reunite.

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Pete Doherty kisses and makes up with Elton John.The band responsible for one of the most impressive debut albums of this still young millennium (Up the Bracket),  have decided to put aside their petty differences for the noble pursuit of making more money.

A disturbingly close Pete Doherty and Carl Barat parted ways in 2004, as a result of the routinely drug addled frontman’s many failed efforts to sober up in rehab.

From the ashes arose Babyshambles and the Barat led Dirty Pretty Things, who proved to be mere shells of their former selves, as each band struggled to gain notoriety outside of England.

Now after years of speculation and calculated plodding on the part of Barat, Britain’s Daily Star is reporting that the star-crossed musicians have negotiated a new management deal and will begin touring as early as next year.

If I were you I’d get my tickets early, since it’s only a matter of time before Doherty falls off the wagon again.

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