February 17th, 2010 by Sam
Apparently, Steven Tyler’s earth-shattering decision to walk away from millions of dollars in touring revenue was short-lived after all, as his former band Aerosmith has decided to welcome him back with open arms.
According to Britain’s New Music Express, Joe Perry and company have agreed to set aside their differences (namely Tyler’s apparent addiction to painkillers) for the noble pursuit of making more money.
Download Festival promoters have already begun circulating news of their timely reunion in the hopes of drawing larger crowds to Donington Park in Leicestershire, England.
The festival runs from June 11-13 and will also feature headlining appearances from AC/DC and Rage Against the Machine.
Prior to the announcement, Aerosmith was allegedly auditioning several candidates to replace their drug addled frontman, including Mr. “Flesh For Fantasy” himself, Billy Idol.
It’s just a shame the Billy Idol thing didn’t pan out, since it would have likely rivaled the Jump To Conclusions mat as the worst idea ever.
Tags: Aerosmith, Billy Idol, Joe Perry, Office Space, Steven Tyler
Posted in Gossip, News | 3 Comments »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
While you were busy cramming Doritos down your throat and downing gallons of carbonized beverages during the Super Bowl, the US Air Force and its well-staffed marketing department were cleverly branding themselves as the newest extreme sport (After all, a Switch 540 Rodeo and bombing run pretty much go hand in hand).
However, while attempting to brainwash little Johnny into signing his life over to defend freedom, the US Air Force ironically failed to recognize that they were infringing on the White Stripes’ copyrights by including a near note for note facsimile of the infectious “Fell in Love with a Girl” in their advertisement.
“The White Stripes take strong insult and objection to the Air Force Reserve presenting this advertisement with the implication that we licensed one of our songs to encourage recruitment during a war that we do not support,” the band wrote on their official website. “…We simply don’t want to be a cog in the wheel of the current conflict, and hope for a safe and speedy return home for our troops.”
Surprising to no one, the Air Force denied all allegations of misconduct and added that any similarities were purely coincidental.
“There was never any intention to utilize any existing music or to sound like any music by the band White Stripes or any other musical performer,” wrote a nameless government sponsored public relations firm.
Kem Kraft, the freelance composer who penned the jingle, pleaded ignorance and furthered the assertions that he didn’t maliciously violate copyright laws.
“I’m sorry it sounds the same,” Kraft told the New York Times. “It wasn’t my intention, truly, truly, truly.”
Like any good soldier, Kraft dived on the public relations disaster.
“…As far as I’m concerned, I’m responsible for this,” he said. “Just me.”
Tags: Super Bowl Ad, The White Stripes, US Air Force
Posted in Gossip, News | No Comments »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
These are trying times for everyone, but perhaps none has been hit harder by the current financial crisis than the music industry, which for years has relied on people having a disposable income to purchase their ridiculously overpriced CDs.
Desperate for cash and unable to pawn their platinum records, EMI has announced they will be selling the legendary Abbey Road recording studio for pennies on the dollar.
Best known for its association with the Beatles, Abbey Road also played home to many other notable music acts, including Pink Floyd, Duran Duran, and Radiohead.
However, according to the Wall Street Journal, the sale would do little to offset the millions of dollars EMI and its main stakeholder Terra Firma Capital Partners Ltd. still owe to Citigroup to avoid defaulting on their loan.
If nothing else, the sale of Abbey Road signals the end of an era for the music industry, as technology has replaced nearly every facet of the recording and distribution process.
Leaving those with no vested interest to wonder what need if any one might have for its bloated corpse.
Tags: Abbey Road, EMI, The Beatles
Posted in Gossip, News | 1 Comment »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
It’s long been established that John Mayer is total douchebag, but not until last week were people fully aware of his level of commitment to making a complete ass out of himself.
Mayer volunteered several less than favorable tidbits about his personal life during his now infamous interview with Playboy magazine, particularly his eagerness to sleep with anyone who isn’t African American.
“I don’t think I open myself to it,” he said. “My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke c*ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.”
Continuing his racially charged diatribe, Mayer delved deeper into his apparent hatred for the entire black race with another inappropriate observation worthy of a Seinfeld episode.
“Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a ‘hood pass’?’” he said. “And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a ‘hood pass’, you could call it a nigga pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a ‘hood pass’? But I said, ‘I can’t really have a hood pass.’ I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
Still unsatisfied with merely undoing centuries of social progress in the manner of seconds, a heavily intoxicated (At least I hope that’s his excuse) Mayer felt the need to comment on his many sexual escapades with the very buxom Jessica Simpson.
“Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me,” he said. “…Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”
Tags: Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Playboy, Sexual Napalm
Posted in Gossip, News | 3 Comments »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
Peter Gabriel has already slotted a handful of dates for what will likely become a fairly robust North American tour.
Listen to Gabriel’s heart go boom boom boom during performances at the Hollywood Bowl in California and for a two night stint at Radio City Music Hall in New York.
Tags: Peter Gabriel
Posted in Out On Tour | No Comments »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
The Canadian Electronic duo of Alice Glass and Ethan Kath will embark on a fairly limited world tour under their more identifiable Crystal Castles namesake.
A routinely unencumbered Glass will undoubtedly raise a ruckus during scheduled stops in Los Angeles, California, Berlin, Germany, and Zurich, Switzerland.
Tags: Crystal Castles
Posted in Out On Tour | No Comments »
February 17th, 2010 by Sam
Mastodon are currently touring in support of their most recent album Crack the Skye.
Allow the Progressive Metal ensemble to fry all your synapses during performances at the Starland Ballroom in New Jersey, The Blue Note in Missouri, and Fox Theater in California.
Tags: Mastodon
Posted in Out On Tour | No Comments »
February 2nd, 2010 by Sam
I’m not even sure why I bother getting upset anymore, since it has become abundantly clear to everyone by now that the Grammy Awards are a pointless celebration that recognizes mediocrity above all else.
Yet year after year I naively think that this will be the moment everything changes for the better, and bands that don’t regularly appeal to AARP card holders and/or brainless teenagers are finally honored by its out of touch voters.
Instead the Grammys once again chose the predictable route and gave an innocuous Pop starlet her first of presumably many more Album of the Year awards to come.
To put this into some perspective, The Who, Bob Marley, Diana Ross, Led Zeppelin, and Jimi Hendrix have yet to receive a single Grammy award, but somehow Taylor Swift now has four of them lining her fireplace mantel.
Other baffling decisions included nominating two bands who released their first albums in 2006 (Silversun Pickups) and 2007 (MGMT) for a Best New Artist nod and giving the extremely hateable Jason Mraz anything other than a swift kick to the face.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the Grammys are done, and it’s about time someone dragged it out to the backyard and put it out of its misery.
Tags: Grammy Awards, Old Yeller, Out of Touch, Taylor Swift
Posted in Gossip, News | 5 Comments »
February 2nd, 2010 by Sam
Apparently, Ozzy Osbourne is just as shocked as we are that he’s still alive after years of regular exposure to sex, drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll.
In an interview with CNN, Osbourne expressed stunned disbelief and gratitude for surviving a lifetime of debauchery.
“With the sexually transmitted disease, what I was doing is playing Russian roulette with sex,” he said. “With drugs, it nearly killed me on a daily basis. I did a lot of heavy drug taking for a long time and I survived it by the grace of God.”
Osbourne of course insisted that others avoid following in his footsteps.
“You might not be as lucky as me,” he said. “I’m living on borrowed time.”
The former Black Sabbath frontman also addressed the current state of music (as well as his obvious sweet tooth), claiming that many of today’s acts have far more in common with inferior Chinese products than they would like to think.
“It’s completely different – they’re manufactured people now…like ice cream,” Osbourne said.
However, Osbourne still believes there is hope for humanity, and that responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of Lady Gaga?
“Every now and then somebody comes out and I really like them,” he said. “I really like this Lady Gaga.”
Let this be a warning to the rest of you. Say no to drugs.
Tags: Autobiography, Black Sabbath, Debauchery, Ice Cream, Ozzy Osbourne
Posted in Gossip, News | No Comments »
February 2nd, 2010 by Sam
And so it begins, an era dominated by one all-powerful entity whose sole existence rests on the misguided notion that paying obscene amounts of money to watch music performed live is much more spiritually fulfilling than listening to it blare from someone’s car stereo.
The much-maligned merger between concert promoting juggernaut Live Nation and service fee exploiter Ticketmaster has finally come to fruition, leaving many in the music industry to wonder, “What comes next?”
According to Reuters the outlook doesn’t look very promising for independent musicians and promoters, especially when their lone options remain choosing between corporate assimilation and finding a cold, dark corner to curl up next to and die.
“Letting this move forward and allowing them to keep the existing deals in place accomplishes nothing,” said I.M.P. Productions chairman Seth Hurwitz. “If they offer these incentives, and part of these incentives are things they can only offer because they have created a monopoly, then this is not a better mousetrap.”
While those who stand to gain the most from the merger continue to champion the union as a shining beacon for all of humanity, others such as Vans Warped tour founder Kevin Lyman are reasonably skeptical, given Ticketmaster’s less than stellar track record with service fees.
“Some good could come of all this,” Lyman said. “The veil of Ticketmaster being the greedy party has been pulled back, and we have now learned that there were few innocents, [with] promoters, artists and their managers all getting kickbacks on the [ticketing] fees.”
Having already secured a ludicrous profit margin from ticket sales during the previous fiscal year, Ticketmaster and its newest conspirator Live Nation stand to gain even more from an uneven playing field visibly lacking in competition.
Tags: Live Nation, Monopoly, Ticketmaster
Posted in Gossip, News | 1 Comment »
